...is a guide that I could do with. In Waterstones today there’s a whole display of book dedicated to weddings.
Books on how to plan the perfect wedding, stag do, hen night, a guide to the best presents and tips on writing the ultimate groom/best man/ father of the bride speech. But hold press. Where’s the rulebook for all the MOHs out there who have been asked to say something funny/emotional/embarrassing/ all of the above at their best friend’s Big Day?
Yes I am a writer. Yes I should already be sprouting out the romantic prose. Yes I should have started writing it weeks ago.
But I am suffering from a case of Writer’s Block.
I’ve even been on youtube to get some inspiration. But lets be honest can you see me rapping, to the tune of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, this is a story all about how my best friend Faye Keane ended up becoming Mrs Dabek in glamorous Las Vegas? No neither can I.
I want to write a speech that will make people laugh and cry while throwing in some jokes that only Faye and I are privy to.
It’s a lot easier than it sounds.
When I am free to write whatever I want I can give Tolstoy a run for his money, making War and Peace look like a concise instruction pamphlet.
But that will be unfair on the guests as the last thing they want to do is listen to some woman who after a couple of Gin and Tonics ramble on about how wonderful love is and how great The Dabeks are.
Nor do I want to look up and see the Father of the Groom snoring away at the head table.
Time to get my head down, get out the notebook and jot my ideas down. Then rewrite. Rewrite some more. Edit. Edit some more. Then somehow through some miracle put it together in some form of coherent English.
Fifty-five days left until the wedding, which means 49 actual days left to write my speech.
Oh Lord have sweet mercy.
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