On my way to wedding no4

I'm off to wedding no4 this afternoon. Location: Manchester which is indeed a breath of fresh air considering I do not need to fork out more cash on public transport and hotels.

The Chinese part of Chris and Yen's wedding will be about one thing: eating and money. The significance of Chinese weddings is not about the gifts or how many happy tears are shed during the ceremony. In some cases it's not even about the bride and groom themselves. No, Chinese weddings are all about the red pocket envelopes filled with cash given to the bridal family from the guests - and the 12 course banquet. Now it is critical as to how much is given after all no one wants to be known as the tight, stingy git who only gave £20.

An average wedding banquet can host around 300 guests. My Dad always say that after you've seated your nearest and dearest, those you will actually turn to in moments of crisis, the remain 280-odd are acquaintances. If you see them on the street you will politely say hi but in all honesty do you remember their birthday or add them to your Christmas card list?

The money inside the red pocket envelope, be it 10s, 20s or even 50s, is used to pay the banquet bill. We're talking anything between £5-10,000. The excess will either be given to the bride and groom as a wedding present or to the bride's parents. I forget who pocketed the remaining 'schrapnel' at Wendie and Ben's do.

Going back to wedding no4, although I have only met Chris and Yen once, I'm only attending for my parents - particularly my Dad. Him and Uncle Leung go back some 35 years - they have one of the tightest friendships I know of. This wedding will probably be the most low-key affair where I do not have to mingle as such as I can just hide behind all the food. I say this now but Sod's Law will have it that something will happen to me!

Once again I will be wearing an old dress. My purple Primark (as it's a wedding and all, let's call it Primarni) A line frock will be a true saviour as it hide the unattractive bloaty stomach come 7pm. Of course I shall be eating everything, it'd be rude not to. Bring on the lobster and roast boar (or something pig-related).